Cold Turkey Guide to Marriage, Family and Being Normal: Volume 1

Parenting is analogous to gold mining more any other occupation. Lion tamer, taxi driver and military police apply as well. You shovel, you sift, you hold their feet to the fire and just when you feel hopeless and helpless, standing knee deep in ore, you see it; a glint of gold, a fleeting flicker of light in a dark place. One of the most frustrating jobs of being a parent is mealtime. You can plan, shop, prepare and serve nutritious and delicious meals and 9 out of 10 times they will prefer the cat food. Growing children put some of the most obnoxious things in their mouths, but put a dish of peas or tuna noodle casserole within three feet of them and they go into uncontrolled gagging. The sand coated bubblegum shared with the dog was more appetizing. Already weakened from a busy day and beaten lower by cutting remarks from the surly mob at the table, you give in and serve Oreo cookies and milk. The dream of just one peaceful meal is quickly reconciled with reality. Cold Turkey Guide to Marriage, Family and Being Normal, doesn't burden you with advice and leave you with guilt. It won't fill you up like a Thanksgiving dinner, all stuffed and bloated. It's stories of normal-quirkiness, diced into bite-sized chunks. It fits easily into waning moments at the end of the day between letting the dog out and letting the dog in. The stories are short enough to be read in bed, between lying down and the first child yelling or the sigh of a husband, neglected one more night. Leave a copy in the bathroom. You can get in a story or two before you hear the scratching of little fingers under the bathroom door and the repetitious calling of your name, "Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom..." It's group therapy when you're all alone. It's Cold Turkey-Guide to Marriage, Family and Being Normal.