A Parent's Guide to Raising Grieving Children

When children lose someone they love, they lose part of their very identity. Life, as they knew it, will never be quite the same. The world that once felt dependable and safe may suddenly seem a frightening, uncertain place, where nobody understands what they're feeling.

In this deeply sympathetic book, Phyllis R. Silverman and Madelyn Kelly offer wise guidance on virtually every aspect of childhood loss, from living with someone who's dying to preparing the funeral; from explaining death to a two year old to managing the moods of a grieving teenager; from dealing with people who don't understand to learning how and where to get help from friends, therapists, and bereavement groups; from developing a new sense of self to continuing a relationship with the person who died. Throughout, the authors advocate an open, honest approach, suggesting that our instinctive desire to protect children from the reality of death may be more harmful than helpful. Children want you to acknowledge what is happening, to help them understand it, the authors suggest. In this way, they learn to trust their own ability to make sense out of what they see. Drawing on groundbreaking research into what bereaved children are really experiencing, and quoting real conversations with parents and children who have walked that road, the book allows readers to see what others have learned from mourning and surviving the death of a loved one. In a culture where grief is so often invisible and misunderstood, the wisdom derived from such first-hand experience is invaluable.

Filled with compassion and common sense, A Parent's Guide to Raising Grieving Children: Rebuilding Your Family after the Loss of a Loved One offers readers a wealth of solace and sound advice, and even--where one might least expect it--a measure of hope.

When children lose someone they love, life is never the same. In this sympathetic book, the authors advocate an open, honest approach, suggesting that our instinctive desire to "protect" children from the reality of death may be more harmful than helpful.

No other book offers readers the breadth and depth of research-based guidance
for navigating through one of life's most painful experiences. The compassionate personal stories of grief and loss, told by children, adolescents, and adults are unique to this book and represent a body of work that is extremely moving, yet comforting for readers who are experiencing similar losses. This book is a treasure-trove of guidance and wisdom for
parents who are faced with the often overwhelming task of moving the family
beyond the painful realities of living life after the death of a loved one. I highly recommend this book as the authoritative text for understanding the complex and often complicated grief process associated with the death of a child, parent, or friend. --Doody's Health Sciences Review, a 5-star review!

Silverman and Kelly have written a definitive yet readable book to help parents of children who are lost in an intimidating new world of loss. At a time when the pain of loss can paralyze both thought and feeling, this guide will be a road map to coping and moving to better days. A must book in every parent's library.-- Dr. Phil McGraw

If I were to recommend one comprehensive book to help parents and health professionals through the paths of the crushing journey of death, it would be the writings of Phyllis Silverman and Madelyn Kelly. Thoroughly researched with compelling practical wisdom and guidance, this harvest of healing insights is a gem to be treasured. -- Rabbi Earl A. Grollman, DHL, DD Author, Living When a Loved One Has Died

This readable, commonsense book will greatly assist parents in their own grief journeys, as well as in better helping their children navigate the changes death brings to their lives. Weaving words of wisdom from children, teenagers, young adults, and parents who have 'been there, ' the authors sensitively and compassionately 'tell it like it is.' Every parent raising a child who has experienced a loss through death should have this book; I look forward to heartily recommending it to the parents at our center, as well as to professionals who serve those who are grieving. --Donna L. Schuurman, EdD, FT Executive Director, The Dougy Center for Grieving Children & Families

As the elder half of a couple with young children, I'd better give this book to my wife. I suppose I could leave instructions in my will, but they wouldn't be as wise as Silverman's and Kelly's. Besides, nobody listens to me when I'm here, let alone when I'm gone.--P.J. O'Rourke

We all know people who have seen death uncomfortably close at hand. Max Kelly has, too, and she has filled her book with healing testimony from people who have lost husbands, fathers, mothers, siblings. How many times have you asked a grieving friend: What can I do to help? A Parent's Guide to Raising Grieving Children is one positive answer to the question.--Men's Health blog

A useful resource for parents and professionals that work with families who are experiencing a loss. Recommended.--Library Journal

Recommended by Margo Howard in the column, Dear Margo

Recommended reading by Margo Howard in the advice column, Dear Margo!

Silverman's significant research experience in the field and Kelly's personal and journalistic perspective offer the reader insight into the developmental and varied challenges that grieving children at all ages face. --OMEGA, Journal of Death and Dying