Faded Red Beads: From an Orphanage to a Disrupted Adoption. A Story of Courage, Resiliency and Faith

As I began to head upstairs to my bedroom, my adopted father abruptly asked, "Where have you been?" I responded with, "What do you mean? I called you at 3:15 p.m. and told you I had a game this evening." He said, "No, you did not. I did not talk to you today!"

I stood there, frozen, thinking, you're crazy as hell. Mr. O'Neal proceeded to tell me what my future was going to be, and I didn't agree with anything he said. "You will not participate in sports; you will come directly home from school, cook dinner, clean the house, etc." As he yelled, I began plotting my next move. When I tuned in, he said, "You will have no outside interaction with anyone." I recall thinking, This is my last day in this hellhole. It didn't matter where I ended up, I knew anything had to be better than this. I wasn't living at all. His home felt like prison, and I was ready to be free. This wasn't about me trying to sneak around and see boys. It was about a robbed childhood. I didn't have many answers, but I knew living with Mr. O'Neal was suffocating. He wasn't equipped to be an adoptive parent. The system failed. Providing a roof wasn't enough.

This story is written to inspire individuals. To move when you don't have all the answers about what lies ahead, but you know if you stay where you are, you will die. To trust your gut and to not copy anyone's life, you are an original. It just so happens this story is about a little girl's journey from an orphanage to a failed adoption to charting her path forward. Whether you experienced foster care or adoption or neither, this story will encourage you to keep believing that good will find you.