Letters To Helene From Vietnam: An Outline Of My Descent Into PTSD

PTSD is insidious; it does not discriminate, and no one is immune. I returned from Vietnam permanently changed and living with PTSD. I am eighty-six years old, and it wasn't until I read the fourteen letters I wrote to my sister, Helene, from Vietnam that my emotional struggles began to make sense.

In Vietnam, I daily witnessed the devastation of war on the body, mind, and soul, and that experience deeply affected me. In reading "Letters," you will trace my self medicating with alcohol and descent into PTSD. When I returned from Vietnam, I did not recognize my induced change and that I lived with PTSD. My wife, Robin, certainly did and demanded I deal with my demons.

My journey toward rehabilitation began during my second duty station at Fort Carson, Colorado. There, I bonded with doctors who had just returned from Vietnam. We shared similar demons and realized that our PTSD was not a sign of weakness; rather, it was a predictable reaction to a common horrific wartime environment. Although we were changed, we learned to function in a peaceful society. We seemed fine on the outside, but we were still grappling with our inner turmoil. After fifty-five years, I am still angry and daily find myself reliving my Vietnam.

In reading "Letters" you will learn to accept your change as being predictable and unavoidable. You are not alone, unique, or weak. Dismissing stigmatization, seeking out others with similar demons, and sharing stories will lead to healing.

I will discuss programs that will prevent or at least modify the severity of PTSD. The US Air Force efforts put the remaining military to shame. There are numerous links available on the Kindle version of "Letters,"down to the molecular level, for an increased understanding of PTSD.