Patralmador Paradox: Seduction and Salvation of Planet Earth

From The Patralmador Paradox:

Pendleton drew a deep breath and shifted uneasily in his chair, 'I know you're going to think this is very strange but, please understand, this is not my idea. I have to ask about your, uh, sexuality."

'You mean do I like boys or girls, or both? Or neither?"

'I'm hoping you like boys." He hurriedly added, 'Not that it matters."

Sheila was laughing again, 'You sound like Seinfeld."

'Who?"

'Never mind. Go on with your questions."

'Do you like boys and do you enjoy sexual intercourse?"

'Yes. And yes." Her tone changed and her smile disappeared, 'Both of the above."

'Good, that's good. Have you had many partners?"

'How many is 'many'?"

'Ten?"

'No." Sheila marveled at her own patience; the laughing had put her in a good mood but it was fading fast.

'Five?"

'No."

'Three?"

'Oh, for God's sake! This sucks! What kind of job interview is this? Or is it a job interview? Are you hitting on me? Is that it? I've heard about a Hollywood casting couch but this is ridiculous!" Sheila rose again to leave.

'No, no, no. Please, please. That's not it at all." He turned the APC toward her. 'I'm just following instructions. I don't want to have sex with you."

She turned and her expression softened, 'Oh, you're gay?" She smiled and added, 'Not that there's anything wrong with that." but he didn't get it.

He answered seriously, 'Gay? Well, I'm reasonably content, most of the time. But I wouldn't say that I'm gay."

Sheila shook her head, 'Very funny."