Eastie Threat: A Humorous Fantasy Novel

She's settling into the throne. But how can she wage war with a military that only knows how to parade?

Queen Eloise Hydra Gumball III's senses are a tad dented. Suffering from a blurry eye and a buzzing in her ear from her recent use of magic, the freshly ascended monarch is still struggling to figure out how best to reign. So when her eastern enemies seize part of her territory, the overwhelmed royal is distraught to discover that, after decades of peace, her army doesn't know how to fight.

With invaders having annexed the land by moving the wall between realms, Queen Eloise sets about recruiting experienced champions to whip her soldiers into shape. But with funds tight and her council of advisors losing faith, the beleaguered ruler fears the only solution may be to parlay with the conquerors.

Can Queen Eloise navigate a political nightmare to preserve the queendom?

The Eastie Threat is the dastardly droll fifth book in The Western Lands and All That Really Matters humorous fantasy series. If you like characters seriously out of their depth, bizarre magic, and perfectly pointed prose, then you'll love Andrew Einspruch's regally rich caper.