If Only You Knew: a true story of bulimia, suicide, and a journey to hope

In the spring of 2001, 19-year-old Katrina Wahl told her parents that she was considering suicide: "There are only two things holding me back from taking this - the easiest path. The first is the end itself. I don't want it to be messy or unduly painful - or, what's worse - unsuccessful. I would want it to be quick and easy. Less for people to take care of afterwards. "The second hesitation factor is friends and family. I don't like to think of how they'd feel after hearing the news. I don't want to hurt them. What would people think? They would probably wonder what on earth could have ailed me so much that I would actually end my life over it. They'd say, 'There's no reason for it. She had a very good, loving, supportive Christian upbringing and a marvelous family. She was even a Christian herself. Went to church regularly, got good grades, was a hard worker. What went wrong?'" Seven months later, Katrina's hesitations were gone. The college sophomore's body was found in an isolated corner of campus. In the devastating aftermath, Katrina's younger sister Heidi grappled with the same questions Katrina did: Can God be trusted? Is obeying Him worth the effort? Is there hope for those struggling with depression, negative body image, and addictions to food and pornography? Amid heartache and tears, Heidi discovered life-breathing truths that are found in Jesus Christ. It is her desire that, in reading these pages, those ensnared by the same lies that tormented Katrina will find hope and freedom in the God who is mighty to save.