Bigger Is Better: Real Life Wisdom from the No-Drama Mama

ON HER KILLER BOOBS:

I was on vacation with my family in the Catskills when out of nowhere, this bat flies right into my chest and then falls splat on the ground. Turned out, he died on impact.

ON FAMILY TRADITIONS:

Every Sunday, we do a feast for fifteen to twenty-five people. Last week, we went through seventy-five meatballs. Even by my family's standards, that's a lot of balls.

ON DIETING:

Swearing off lasagna to lose weight? You might fit into smaller jeans. But you're still the same person-- except hungrier and bitchier.

ON HOBBIES:

Would I rather cook for people or have sex? No hard-and-fast rule there. But I will say this: Cooking is always satisfying.