Ponk Vonsydow's Alien Handbook

Ponk Vonsydow's Alien Handbook was created in 1992 after Vonsydow was visited by NEFTU, a race of advanced extra-terrestrial beings who have been connected to humanity since the dawn of time. NEFTU injected Vonsydow with micro-robotic-neurotransmitters and then inserted all the ideas found in the Handbook directly into his brain. After the implant, Vonsydow was compelled to drop anything else he was doing and devote all his time and energy to the creation of the Handbook, which was to be NEFTU'S message to humanity. However, the text of the handbook is written in NEFTU'S language so humans must use the included decoder to translate the hieroglyphs. After translating, humans can learn the history of the ancient relationship between NEFTU and HUMANITY.