Fugue: I can't remember how I got here...

I lived my life as silently as I could. I spoke my first words to my beautiful kindergarten teacher when I was five. It wasn't safe to speak at home. At this tender age when I was forming memories to last a lifetime, I was also repressing them as they happened. Fugue is about growing up in a violent home where most nights there was more food on the ceiling than on our plates. I've always remembered wanting to die as a child, but never knew why. I carried my suicidal thoughts into my adult life flirting with death as I sped down rolling, flexuous country roads. I picked up hitchhikers that looked like Charles Manson thinking maybe this will be my last day. My dreams of leaving home helped me until I left. I never found home no matter how many times I moved. I never found someone to love me no matter how many times I married. And then one day I heard a voice from my past and I listened. Fugue is about healing and shows life in full circle. I was healed after facing my childhood traumas, and present for my daughter while she healed from hers. Fugue is not about blaming, revenge or getting even. It's about understanding that you can heal from whatever crime was done to you as a child. Today, I look for opportunities to tell people, "A violent home can offer you a quality life."