Hurtful Husband, Harmful Dad: Leaving is Complicated

Hurtful Husband, Harmful Dad: Leaving is Complicated is a cautionary self-help book which illustrates how it feels to be ensnared in an emotionally abusive relationship. From her own lived experience, author Elle Walks identifies the precursors to emotional abuse and details the complexities of safely escaping with her children_-as a woman, she could stay with him; but as a mother, leaving was essential. Each informative chapter includes important takeaways, narratives of actual events, and lessons learned.

Readers will witness a woman's difficult journey from devoted wife to helpless victim-and her ultimate transformation into a powerful advocate for herself and her children. Hurtful Husband, Harmful Dad provides a first-hand account of the overwhelming feelings of guilt and shame, discovering the cycle of abuse, asking for change, setting boundaries, and weighing the risks of protecting herself and her children while in and out of the marriage.

Elle faced two major battles: first, to shield her children from the abusive parent and an unsupportive family court system, and second, to break free from a partner who wielded significant community influence, wealth, and determination to destroy her. She reveals how it feels to lose your health, question your sanity, and blame yourself while living in a constant fight-or-flight state.

Staying with her husband meant watching her children suffer and condemning them to a lifetime of abuse, first from their dad, and highly likely next from their partner. Her inner voice started as a whisper, grew louder each day, and eventually screamed, "I cannot be married to him anymore!"