House I Once Was: A Memoir of Disappearing and the Courage to Remain

Sometimes you don't leave your life. You simply disappear inside it.

You keep waking up. You take care of the people you love. You answer when someone calls your name. From the outside, you are still there.

But somewhere along the way, you stop recognizing the person living your life.

The House I Once Was is an intimate memoir about losing yourself inside the very place that once made you feel safe and slowly learning how to return without becoming the person you used to be.

Through motherhood, family, memory, writing, and the quiet presence of those who stayed, Betzaida De Jesús takes us inside a house where every room begins to hold something different: fear, guilt, anger, silence, love, and eventually, hope.

This is not a story of perfect healing or magical answers. It is a story about the small moments that bring us back: opening a door, stepping outside, allowing someone to stay beside us, writing a single sentence, or simply choosing to remain for one more day.

For anyone who has ever felt lost while standing exactly where they were supposed to belong, this story offers something simple but important: the reminder that finding yourself does not always mean going back. Sometimes it means learning to recognize and embrace the person you have become.

Enter the house. Walk through its rooms. Perhaps somewhere inside, you will recognize a part of yourself too.