He Wasn't That Complicated: On unavailable men, the women who wait, and finally seeing clearly

She spent two years trying to understand him.

He was telling her the whole time.

He said he was not ready for a relationship. He did not call when he said he would. He kept things undefined because definition did not suit him. He was not mysterious. He was not complicated. He was consistent. She just kept finding ways to interpret what he was showing her rather than believe it.

In He Wasn't That Complicated, clinical psychologist Dr. Naomi Voss examines the real reason intelligent women end up waiting for unavailable men, and what it actually takes to finally stop.

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• What unavailable actually means and its three distinct forms
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• Why anxious attachment makes emotionally unavailable men feel like love
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• The situationship and why it is designed to keep you exactly where you are
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• What the overanalysis is actually avoiding
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• How to grieve a relationship that was never quite a relationship
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• What you actually want, unedited
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• What choosing differently really looks like

This is not a book about him. It never was. This is a book about the part of you that found his unavailability familiar, and what to do about that part now.

For readers of Attached by Amir Levine, Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood, and Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb.