I Said "I Do," Not "I Know Where You Put It"

Marriage is love, partnership, and choosing your person every day. It is also dinner negotiations, sensory overload, five children, animals, cultural differences, suspicious bowls, and discovering that your soulmate can comfort you better than anyone while simultaneously making a normal Tuesday much harder than necessary.

In I Said "I Do," Not "I Know Where You Put It," Samantha Fornaris turns the ordinary chaos of long-term love into a brutally honest, profane, and laugh-out-loud account of what happens after the vows-when romance shares a house with parenting, money, dishes, overstimulation, mismatched communication styles, and two people who are both occasionally the difficult spouse.

This is not a husband-bashing book or a marriage manual. It is a love letter to the ridiculous, exhausting, deeply human work of building a life with the person who knows exactly how to soothe you-and exactly which button to press.

Equal parts love story and domestic incident report, this book explores communication, household negotiations, cultural differences, parenting five children, emotional overload, affection, food, finances, and the infuriatingly hilarious work of choosing each other anyway.