Severely Embellished Tales: Volume 1: A Critical Essay on the Inherent Risks of Using Substandard Co

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in!"

After decades of exhaustive research and countless interviews, I have discovered many intriguing facts and salient details about "the three little pigs." Firstly, they had names: Moses, Lawrence, and Jerome. The most interesting version of their story takes place across the pond in Merry Old England during medieval times. They grew up in a small hamlet nestled in the dark forest of Ewing, a foreboding woods inhabited by creatures both natural and unnatural.

Their grade school teacher was a stern but kindly goat, Miss Ida Van Hoofnagle. They attended the local church, shepherded by a devoted priest, Fr. John, a St. Bernard dog, who had been sent by the abbot of a monastery from the East. The pigs had a grandporker--er...a grandmother, April by name, who was without question the most influential person in the shaping of their lives. And then of course, there was the wolf, the consummate villain in the tale.

It is my sincere hope that you will enjoy this severely embellished version of The Three Little Pigs.